By Holly Walters, PhD, LPC-S, CRC
If you spend enough time in the counseling world, you start to notice a simple truth: People don’t grow in a straight line. They grow in eras. Seasons. Chapters. They reinvent themselves, regress, leap forward, circle back and try again. In some ways, the emotional lives of our clients look a lot like an ever-evolving music setlist.
The artist Taylor Swift has been modeling this kind of identity work for almost 20 years. Each of her self-defined eras was a shift in voice, boundaries, relationships and meaning that she conveyed through her music. The details are personal to her, but the themes are universal.
I’ve seen clients connect to Swift’s music because they recognize pieces of their own story. Counselors can use that connection to help clients better understand who they are becoming and to make sense of their own development. This connection also can be a framework for talking about identity, reinvention and the courage it takes to be seen.
Pop culture can offer clients a language that feels accessible. Swift created music that characterized the different phases or eras she was experiencing. Her Reputation album focused on boundaries, fear and the need for protection, while her Folklore era described a quieter season of reflection. The music on her Red album expressed her big feelings, risks and lessons. Therefore, when clients reference her music or her eras — “I’m in my Reputation era” — they’re referring to themes they identify with.
These metaphors work because they’re emotional short-cuts. They bypass shame, build rapport quickly and help clients talk about themes that might feel overwhelming if we approached them through purely clinical language.
More important, Swift’s musical progression shows identity isn’t always fixed. We don’t always graduate from one stage and stay there forever. Clients often need help understanding that returning to an old pattern doesn’t mean failure — it may simply mean they’ve re-entered a familiar era with new information, insight or needs. Referring to the themes in Swift’s eras gives them a way to talk about their difficult feelings without harsh self-judgment.
I often tell students that humans live a performative life — not in the glitter and stage sense, but in the way we all perform different parts of ourselves depending on context. Clients perform competence at work, calmness in crisis or strength in the face of disappointment. They may perform cheerfulness when they’re exhausted or stability when they’re barely holding on.
Swift’s music has made these shifts visible to some people. Each era can be a costume change and a narrative shift. Her music shows what many clients feel internally: the tension between who they are, who others expect them to be and the version of themselves they’re trying to grow into. This can open the door for meaningful conversations about authenticity, boundaries, people-pleasing and the masks clients wear to feel safe.
When framed through this performance metaphor, client conversations can become gentle invitations rather than confrontational challenges.
The goal in counseling shouldn’t be for a client to stay in one stage forever. Rather, counselors can help clients weave their lives into a coherent story of self. Here are some strategies counselors can use:
Clients already interpret their lives through music, movies, online communities and shared cultural moments. When counselors honor and use that language, we can meet clients where they already are. Pop culture frameworks aren’t a distraction from the work — they’re a path to it.
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